You Are Not Your Trauma
“You Are Not Your Past”
“Loving, Healing, Growing, Thriving and Surviving your past ’
Going through very stressful, frightening or distressing events is sometimes called trauma. When we talk about emotional or psychological trauma, we might mean:
situations or events we find traumatic
how we're affected by our experiences.
Traumatic events can happen at any age and can cause long-lasting harm. Everyone has a different reaction to a traumatic past, so you might notice any effects quickly, or a long time afterwards. If you've been affected by trauma, it's important to remember that you survived. However, you could and are having common, normal reactions. Find out more through this resource the effects of trauma.
Going further through a traumatic past can also cause you to start being affected by past experiences or make existing problems worse. It's ok to ask for help at any time – including if you're not sure if you've experienced trauma. As a survivor of many different traumatic events in my life, I had to make a choice of how I choose to close and open past traumatic doors that happened in my life.
I would like to respectfully state that the subject of past trauma and pain are very complex and different for us all. It leaves an eternal stain of the very memory of the event, the day, time, year, season, and pictorial visual of what you were even wearing that day. The key word is it becomes a STAIN in your mind.
A Stain: 1. : a soiled or discolored spot. : a natural spot of color contrasting with the ground. : a taint of guilt : stigma.
The stain, spot, taint of guilt, and stigma will become YOU! We can either become that which has traumatized us or find ourselves reliving it through other people. There is the phrase “Hurt people Hurt people” and this is the stain or solid spot that lingers in us. We can therefore inflict that very trauma unknowingly on someone else because the event has engulfed us to the point where we have become the very thing that hurt us.
The past can be defined as someone’s history that can often be considered to be shameful. This is interesting because a lot of people tend to be judged or shamed for their past. This ridicule often comes irregardless if it was just one small mistake that they made.
Other people seem to not let us escape from our pasts. This causes us to define ourselves based on our past because that’s how everyone else treats us. But we need not treat ourselves this way and tune out all the chatter.
This keeps us from loving again, growing in purpose, thriving, and surviving. In a subject that is so complex and sensitive I want you to know that “You are not your pain! You are not the constant walking image of hurt or pain. This is not WHO YOU ARE and here is why: You survived it. You survived negative thoughts, the stain of guilt, and seeing yourself as if, “It was your fault”. You are NOT your past trauma.
These experiences can shape who we are, but do not control who we can be. It may not be easy, but the past can be used to help us grow instead of hurt us.
Here are 5 Goals to help us get ready on the journey to healing from a Traumatic Past
1.Forgive Your Past Self So Your Future Self Can Grow
“It all begins with you”!
Self-growth is not easy. Sometimes, we realize things about ourselves that we need to change in order to be the best version of ourselves.
We all have negative habits, and sometimes we don’t see that they’re negative until they cause harm to ourselves or others. When that happens we realize we need to make a change. Sometimes it’s small and sometimes it’s not.
Either way, whenever I realize my habits are toxic, I have a tendency to obsess over the past and the mistakes I’ve made. Even after I take steps toward bettering myself and altering my habits, I get so caught up in feeling bad about the past that I can’t focus on the future. That’s the whole point of trying to better ourselves, isn’t it? We make mistakes, we learn, we grow, and we love ourselves more for it. If we miss that self-love piece of the puzzle then we’re creating an incomplete picture. Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made in the past.
Let yourself move on. Let yourself grow and learn from what has happened. Don’t keep punishing yourself. The door you close will determine how you open the next.
2.Become who you were needing for a Safe Place.
Be the person you needed when you were younger and set a good example to those around you. A positive mental attitude will get you through the darkest and most testing of times, and it means that you'll find embracing your future much easier
3.Don’t dwell on the past – embrace your future
2. 3. Leap…The best way to look forward to the future and secure your own happiness is to not dwell on the past. Remember that you cannot change or fight what has happened and when you dwell on feelings of hurt, embarrassment or pain then your mental health will start to suffer. Try to find happiness in the present day and move on.
4.Set goals
Setting yourself goals for the future is a sure-fire way to look forward to what’s to come. It could be a weight loss goal, maybe you hope to quit smoking, or if you run a business perhaps your goal could be having your own office and making a lucrative income. Planning for the future means that you have so much to look forward to. Just make sure you’re setting realistic time-frames for these goals and you’re not putting too much pressure on yourself.
5. Live, Live, Live, HAPPY
Incorporating more humor and play into your daily interactions can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends. Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface.
You are no longer your past trauma, hurt, or pain. See the video attached regarding the healing from your past.
"You are not your past
You are not your mistakes
You are not your failures
You are not who you were yesterday
You are not even who you were this morning
You are who you decide to become
Who you commit to become
You could be one decision away from a completely new life
We are all capable of re-inventing ourselves
There's absolutely no reason why
Anyone should live in the dark times of their past
When their future is bright, and waiting for them
Holding onto things that have gone wrong in the past
Is never going to serve your future
It's never going to make you feel good in the present
It will only increase your suffering
So you have to ask yourself
"Is that event, that moment from my past
That moment that is over now
Worthy of sucking all the joy out of my present and my future?
Am I really going to let that moment, that person or event win
Am I really going to let that take away all the joy of my future?"
Let it go, we all make mistakes, we all do
Those who move on have the greatest chance of joy
Both now and in the future
Forgive yourself
Forgive everything and everyone, and feel the weight drop
From your shoulders as you walk toward your new life
I am not my mistakes, I am not my failures
I am who I decide to become
I am who I commit to become
I commit to become the best I can be
I forgive, I move on, I look forward to the new me
My best is yet to come"
🙏🏾